Ferbert Flembuzzle's
Most Exotic Zoo
Chapter 2 - The Gate
(Please forgive errors in formatting. Posting on a website has its limitations.)
Over three years earlier, a man knocked on the front door of Ferbert’s small home.
“I’m Gus Gates of Gus’s Gates, the greatest gates on the globe, and I’m here to sell you a gate.” The man was wearing a neatly-pressed suit and a polka-dot bow tie. “I can get you any kind of gate, and my gates are guaranteed. I’ve got gorgeous gates, grand gates, glamorous gates, and gargantuan gates. I’ve got gates that glitter and glimmer and gates that glisten and glow. I’ve got gates that are grouchy, gleeful, gutsy, and groovy! I’ve got gates that giggle, gates that growl, gates that grow, and gates that groan. From boring, old galvanized to glorious and golden, Gus’s Gates are guaranteed to be gamble-free.” The man studied Ferbert’s reaction after finishing his pitch.
“I’m quite sorry, Mr. Gates,” Ferbert began, “but I have no need for a gate.”
“Oh?” An amused smile widened across Mr. Gates’ face. “I greatly doubt that. I have good reason to guesstimate you have great need for a gate.”
“How do you figure?”
The man straightened his suit coat, leaned forward, and waved for Ferbert to do so, as well. Then, in frank, sincere language, Mr. Gates whispered, “I think you will be very interested to know that your house is not on my normal sales route. In fact, I would never have come this way—not in a hundred years—but you see…” Mr. Gates hesitated before continuing, “I was led here by the most curious of things: a cloud, if you can believe that.” He pointed to the sky above them, and Ferbert’s gaze followed.
When he saw the cloud to which Mr. Gates was referring, his eyes widened and his neck hairs tingled. His complete and undivided attention was on the man with the bow tie. “Alright, I’m listening. Just what kind of gate do you think I need?”
“Ahhh.” Mr. Gates winked and went back to using his normal salesman voice. “I think you need a gate so grand it can be seen from miles away—a gate that stands as an invitation to something great. Yes, I will get you a gate that gathers. People will wait in lines a mile long just to see what’s on the other side.” Mr. Gates touched the tip of his nose and asked, “Would a gate like that do the trick?”
Ferbert looked up toward the cloud again. “It seems you know exactly what I need.”
“Very well. I’ll make a gate so grand you will need ten of the tallest ladders just to reach the top. Naturally, it will come with a key so grand only a giant could fit it in his pocket. Mark my words, when the day comes to open the gate, men, women, and children will line up as far as the eye can see to see what is on the other side.”
When the gate was installed, Ferbert, true to the word of Mr. Gates, had to use ten of the tallest ladders to reach the top. Above the gate, he hung a sign that read:
Beneath the sign, he hung a banner with the words “Opening Next Spring.”
Rumors about Flembuzzle Zoo reached nearly every corner of the neighboring town of Vedner before the sun set. There had never been a zoo in Vedner, so the rumors were charged with excitement.
Fathers bragged at work that they would be the first in line the day it opened. Mothers made plans to forever abandon the parks they typically visited and spend every day at the new zoo. Children spent their entire school recess imitating the most exotic creatures they could think of.
Max Monev, the mayor of Vedner, was less than thrilled when he first learned about the zoo, but he soon hatched a plan that gave him reason to be eager for the zoo’s grand opening.
The plan was hatched the day that his assistant, Derek Dunger, had asked, “Sir, have you heard about this Flembuzzle Zoo that everyone in town is talking about?”
“What do you mean everyone’s talking about it? What are they saying?” Mayor Monev had responded.
“They say it’s going to be the greatest thing to ever happen in Vedner.”
“Nonsense—I’m the greatest thing that has ever happened to Vedner! Surely people are still talking about how great I am. Are they not?”
“Sir, all I’ve been hearing for days now is talk of Flembuzzle Zoo. Not one mention of you.”
Mayor Monev gritted his teeth, “Who is this Flembuzzle character and who does he think he is?”
“No one knows, sir. There are rumors that a few citizens saw him put up the sign, but no one knows anything about him.”
“You mean to tell me that a stranger made my people forget about me, their greatest mayor, all because he put up a silly gate that happens to be really big.”
“Sir, I doubt they have forgotten you. Who could forget you? They just aren’t talking about you at the moment.”
“A moment is too long. Perhaps we should knock the gate down and tell everyone to forget about it.”
“I don’t think that would be a good idea. People seem rather excited about this zoo; I worry that knocking down the gate may make you very unpopular.”
“I don’t suppose you have a better idea?”
“There is that saying, ‘If you can’t beat them, join them.’”
Mayor Monev thought for a moment, “Dunger, you’re clever, but I’m wise.” He grinned, “I’ll do better than joining—I’ll take credit!”
That very day, Mayor Monev called a town meeting and put his plan to work.
“People of Vedner, I have been working for a very long time on what I was hoping would be a big surprise, but I understand rumors are already floating around, and I wanted to make sure you all knew the full truth.” Mayor Monev spoke with the passion of someone that actually believed his own lies. “It is true that Vedner will soon be home to the most exotic zoo in the world, but what you may not know is that I, your humble mayor, am the one that made it all happen.”
The citizens erupted in applause, and someone yelled, “Three cheers for Mayor Monev! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray!”
Mayor Monev was a natural at taking undeserved credit, but he was also a natural at getting carried away and saying things he regretted. This was especially true when people cheered for him. Hungry for more applause, he said what would become his greatest regret. “When Flembuzzle Zoo opens, people will flock to Vedner and we will be ready. Businessmen must build more businesses; shopkeepers need more shops; home builders must build more homes; and road pavers must pave more roads. We need more hotels, restaurants, school houses, and farms. Build them all!”
Over the next year, the people of Vedner did just as he said. The town doubled, tripled, and then quadrupled in size.
On the eve before Flembuzzle Zoo opened, the citizens gathered in Town Square to celebrate with a parade, rides, games, shows, popcorn, and cotton candy. The night ended with the largest fireworks show the town of Vedner had ever put on, but just before it began, Mayor Monev stood atop of the steps to Town Hall.
He was a man of odd proportions: tall with a thick neck, broad shoulders, strong arms, a round but solid belly, and long, chicken legs. His hair was slick and well-manicured with each strand in its place. For anyone else, his extravagant suit would have been overdressing for the occasion, but this lofty apparel was typical for Mayor Monev.
He boomed into the microphone, “People of Vedner, tomorrow is the opening of Flembuzzle Zoo: The Most Exotic Zoo in the World, and tonight we celebrate how my leadership is about to change this town forever.” The people cheered, whistled and clapped, and Mayor Monev soaked it up before continuing. “Now, before we kick off the fireworks, I think it would only be appropriate to honor Mr. Flembuzzle by letting him come up here for a photo with the marvelous Mayor Max Monev. Come on up, Mr. Flembuzzle!”
Citizens cheered louder and longer than before, but when the whistling died down and the clapping slowed to a stop, Ferbert Flembuzzle was nowhere to be seen.
Mayor Monev spoke in to the microphone again with a clear tone of confusion and embarrassment. “Mr. Flembuzzle? You don’t want to miss this once-in–a-lifetime opportunity to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with your great mayor.” Mayor Monev covered the microphone, leaned over to Dunger and whispered, “Where is that man, Flembuzzle? I look like a fool.”
“I don’t know, sir,” Dunger responded. “Did anyone invite him?”
“Invite him?” the mayor questioned through clenched teeth. “Everyone in town has been talking about this day for a year now—an invitation hardly seemed necessary.”
Dunger shrugged. Mayor Monev turned his charisma back on and spoke into the microphone again. “I’ve just been informed that Mr. Flembuzzle is not here because he is preparing for our arrival tomorrow morning, but he sends his regrets and wanted you to know how grateful he is for all my hard work,” he lied. “Let the fireworks begin!”
No one had invited Ferbert to the celebration, and no one had told him it was in honor of his zoo. In fact, no one in Vedner had ever met or spoken to Ferbert. What they and especially the mayor didn’t know, was what to expect when the gate to Flembuzzle Zoo opened.