Ferbert Flembuzzle's
Most Exotic Zoo

(Please forgive errors in formatting. Posting on a website has its limitations.)

​

Mayor Monev had pressed his way through the entire zoo ahead of everyone else and had spent no more than a minute or two at each exhibit, starting with the giant Jumondo bird.

 

“Nothing,” he’d mumbled to himself while standing in the shade of the massive Jumondo tree. He marched to the next exhibit. “Nothing here, either.”

 

Mr. Dunger was at the mayor’s heels each step of the way, voicing his agreement at every chance. “Indeed, sir. Good eye. Nothing to see in the least.”

 

At the third exhibit—and every exhibit after that—Mayor Monev simply groaned from his throat like a toad and said nothing. When he’d seen every exhibit, the mayor’s face was red with anger and then pale with worry.

 

“We’ve been swindled,” he grumbled before collapsing onto a bench and dropping his face into his hands. “No one will come from anywhere to see this place.”

 

“Agreed,” Dunger had responded.

 

“I doubled the size of this town two times over because this zoo was supposed to bring people here! I told the people this zoo was my doing! I’m ruined.”

 

“Sir, perhaps we should slip out before anyone confronts us?” Dunger suggested.

 

“Quite right.”

 

The two started weaseling their way toward the gate but didn’t make it ten feet before a businessman jumped into their path.

 

“You promised us people from all over would come to Vedner because of the exotic creatures in this zoo, but there aren’t any animals!” the man yelled. “What are we supposed to do with our new businesses?”

 

One by one, people began crowding around Mayor Monev and broadcasting their complaints.

 

“Who’s going to shop at our new shops?”

 

“Who’s going to live in our new homes?”

 

“Who’s going to drive on our new roads?”

 

“Who’s going to stay in our new hotels?”

 

“Who’s going to eat at our new restaurants?”

 

“Who will attend our new schools?”

 

“Who will eat the food grown on our new farms?”

 

There was no escape—nowhere to run or hide. Cornered by angry faces, Mayor Monev stood on a bench and did the two things he did best: he gave a speech and mixed truths with lies.

 

“People of Vedner, this is a horrible day for everyone. The whole town has worked hard for this day, and you deserve to be rewarded for your hard work. Unfortunately, it looks like that won’t happen. You elected me to be your mayor, though, because I am a leader who can fix problems.”

 

The words flowed off the mayor’s tongue with ease as he simultaneously plotted how to redirect the people’s anger away from him. As he spoke, he caught sight of Ferbert at the back of the crowd. An idea formed in the mayor’s rotten brain.

 

 “Before I work to fix your problems,” Mayor Monev continued, “you should ask yourself: whose fault is this? Who deserves the blame for all our problems? Who could bear to do something so awful to each of you?” In a dramatic show, he paused, put both hands over his heart and softened his eyes.

 

“Would someone who loves Vedner cause your problems? No. The person to blame doesn’t love Vedner the way I do. He’s a conman, a trickster, and an outsider, and I am sorry to say that, even me, your humble and trusting Mayor Max Monev, fell prey to the con.” He stared directly at Ferbert as he continued, “Look around you. Do you see the outsider?” The people began looking from side to side and casting suspicious glares at one another. “I see the outsider right there!” He snapped his arm out, his long, ugly finger stabbing through the air, and everyone turned. “Ferbert Flembuzzle is to blame!”

 

Mayor Monev let this accusation sink in for a moment; when he continued, he shifted his tone to speak to the townspeople in the same way a loving parent breaks bad news to their children.

 

“Mr. Flembuzzle knew we were a trusting people, and what did he do with that trust? He promised us a zoo, but not any old zoo—the most exotic zoo in the whole world, so amazing that the town of Vedner would quadruple in size. Being the good people we are, we trusted him and spent nearly everything making the town bigger. Then, he took the last of our money as we came through that gate with the promise of seeing exotic animals. Well, I looked everywhere and there isn’t a single animal in this so-called zoo. Mr. Flembuzzle lied to all of us.” Mayor Monev shook his head in disgust.

 

Ferbert spoke in a calm voice. “This is the most exotic zoo in the world. It’s right in front of you! You will see it, but you have to open your eyes and believe.”

 

“It’s true!” the freckle faced girl called out. “I saw them.”

 

“I saw them, too!” the boy from the Drobwobble tortoise exhibit exclaimed.

 

“Me too!” another child had blurted out, followed by another. Child after child joined the throng of voices defending Ferbert.

 

Mayor Monev exploded in a trumpeting roar, “This is precisely the trickery I am talking about! Not only has Mr. Flembuzzle lied to us, but look at what he has also done to your sweet, beautiful, innocent children. He’s poisoned their minds and made them think they are seeing things that don’t exist! Now, with his pockets stuffed full of your money, he has the nerve to claim something is wrong with our eyes.” The mayor looked at Ferbert, puffed up his chest and narrowed his eyes to signal that he would not stand down. “There’s nothing to believe. We’ve all been lied to—tricked. We’ve all been… Flembuzzled!”

 

Everyone in the zoo burst out in an uproar of complaint, demanding both their money back and that Ferbert be punished for Flembuzzling the whole town. Mayor Monev threw his hands in the air and waved them downward, motioning for the crowd to calm themselves.

 

“Good people of Vedner, I will fix this and make sure Mr. Flembuzzle doesn’t get away with what he has done.” Mayor Monev leapt off the bench and cut through the crowd toward Ferbert. When he reached him, he pressed his ugly finger against Ferbert’s chest. “I order you to pay back every dollar you collected and apologize to these good people right here and now, and I forbid you from calling this place a zoo ever again!”

 

Ferbert stood in calm silence for a brief moment before turning to the angry crowd. “I wish you could see it—what your children and I see—but I understand it may take some time. I couldn’t see it at first, either, so I will give you time.” He turned back to Mayor Monev and, in a voice that was both gentle and firm, explained, “If necessary, I’ll stay until I die and my daughter inherits the zoo.”

 

“Your daughter?” Mayor Monev exclaimed. “What daughter?”

 

The four-year-old girl that had been at Ferbert’s side all morning stepped out from behind Ferbert’s legs. For the first time, the people of Vedner took notice of her. “This is my daughter, Sophia,” he explained. Sophia gave an enchanting smile, triggering contagious whispers.

 

“He has a daughter?”

 

“He’s a father?”

 

“Surely he wouldn’t lie to his own child.”

 

“Is it possible our children really did see something?”

 

As the whispers spread, Mayor Monev felt a trembling anger swell within him, starting at his heart and spreading to the tips of his fingers and tongue.

 

He erupted in a booming yell that silenced all the whispers, “That is quite enough of your games and lies, Mr. Flembuzzle! Before you came here, Vedner was a calm and peaceful town, but your lies have ruined us. I will not allow you to Flembuzzle the good people of Vedner like you Flembuzzled our children! I want you out of here! I want you gone, now!”

 

Mr. Dunger leaned forward and whispered in Mayor Monev’s ear, “Sir, are you sure you want to send him away?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I?” the mayor whispered back in an irritated tone.

 

“Well, sir, you have done an excellent job making these people forget all the credit you took and shifting the blame to this man, and I think we want to keep it that way, don’t we?”

 

“What’s your point, Dunger?” Mayor Monev struggled to maintain a whisper.

 

“Sir, every time these people look at their empty businesses, homes, schools, and roads, they will be reminded of this day and they will be angry. Today, they are angry with Flembuzzle, but the question is, who will they be angry with tomorrow? If Flembuzzle stays, we can make sure the anger stays directed toward him and his pipsqueak daughter.”

 

“Dunger, once again you prove to be a clever man.”

 

Mayor Monev turned back to the crowd and resumed his booming voice. “Yes, Mr. Flembuzzle, I want you gone, but… a good leader must be both forgiving and compassionate, and I am both, so I have decided you can stay. There will be terms, though. First, you have only until your daughter’s eighth birthday to show these level-headed citizens what you claim is here. If we don’t see it, I will drive you out like the filthy rat you are.”

 

 “Very well,” Ferbert responded. “I trust that, as parents return here with their children, they will one day see what I, my daughter, and your children see.”

 

The mayor burst out with a cruel laugh before continuing, “That brings me to my second term: the gate will remain locked. I can’t have you robbing my people anymore, or casting spells on the children.” Mayor Monev yanked the giant key out of Ferbert’s hands and, in a conniving whisper, added, “Good luck convincing anyone to believe you when not even you will be able to get through the gate.”

 

He then stood tall and announced to everyone, “From this day forward, no one is allowed to enter this z—” the mayor caught himself. “This… this… whatever it is!” The mayor turned and started to walk out. Then he paused and turned back. “And Mr. Flembuzzle, when I say no one, I mean no one.” He lifted his long, ugly finger and pointed at Sophia. “That includes you and her.” With that, he turned around and stormed out of the zoo, followed by the people of Vedner.

 

When the last person had exited, the mayor locked the gate with the giant key and drove off in his limousine. A few minutes later, two workers arrived—one with ten ladders and another with a new, smaller sign. The first climbed to the top of the ladders, where he removed the bolts from Ferbert’s sign. It fell to the ground and splintered into a hundred pieces. The other worker hung the new sign at the bottom of the gate. It read:

 

 

THIS IS NOT A ZOO.

NO ONE ALLOWED INSIDE.

 

“What just happened?” Sophia asked her dad in a soft voice. “What does it say?”

 

Ferbert looked down at his daughter with tears in his eyes. “It says we can’t go inside anymore.”